I’m at home.I’m sure most of you on my FB list must have guessed by now (judging by the pics I upload) that I don’t have a job yet.I know my work permit is on its way.What I don’t know is, on which way it is.And sitting at home is definitely not a walk in the park for me.
My latest FB update …. Yes, that’s how jobless I am.
I am not actually complaining about being at home, rather I am complaining about the fact that at times, I feel like I am doing nothing useful sitting at home.Remember the saying, ‘An idle mind is the Devils workshop’?. Well, I can vouch that this is so totally true.
Now, that I am at home, I have plenty of time to think.I think about people, I think about career, I think about the world.I sometime pity my hubby, cause he has to listen to all my bright and not so bright observations and ideas (that resulted from my thinking) when he comes back from office.I am bored of NetFlix, tribal wars, Facebook. Believe me when I say, there is a limit to which a human can stare at the Facebook wall waiting for someone to update the status so that I can ‘like’ it.Been there. Done that.
I love thinking.But it sometimes lands me in deep trouble. Let me give you a sample situation. I think about somene. Think about something they have that I don’t have and Pronto, I am disappointed.Disappointed that I do not have it, even though I have no interest in it or a desire to posses it.
The green eyed J monster is definitely not an easy monster to chase away. It requires exercising my memory to remember that who I am, is not defined by what I do or what I posses or where I am.I keep repeating something like this over and over to myself. ‘I do not have to do what X does. I do not have to be the way X is. I do not have to have what X has. God made me the way I am. I am an unique God’s creation’.
The best feeling in all this confusion is the sense of security I feel, every time I think about God.And this, is how I battle the J monster.
And Oh! I did get a lot of interesting comments and info for my fb picutre.
Do you battle the J monster too?
PS : If you had not already figured it out yet, J refers to Jealousy .