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CMB Series : FiGHtS

Fights are inevitable in any marriage.I think. Hubby and I had one recently.Not very pleasant but definitely an eye-opener for me.

Hubby and I have been together for years now. We’ve been like best friends for years before we got married. But the part which most people find unbelievable is that we never fought with each other in all those years.(Maybe, we’re just angels.. the both of us 🙂 ) We never even had any arguments too.Until a month before our wedding 🙂 See, the change Marriage brings? A month before our wedding, we started arguing about our wedding plans. But after few days, we decided that we won’t let it bother our relationships and the differences disappeared.

And we have not fought after marriage too. Until last week. That’s when we had, what I call our first fight ever. Lasted close to 12 hours and then we were back to normal. 🙂 So, here is all that I learnt in that 12 hours.

  1. There is no winner / loser in any fight/ argument between couples. Cause the moment you think you win, you lose to your ego.
  2. There is no right and wrong way to fight. Of course, flying vessels and slamming doors are definitely a no-no.
  3. It is quite interesting to observe the different approaches both of you take, to express anger.In our case, one takes the silent approach and the other, the sulking approach.
Now that I think about it, I don’t think my parents ever fought. I don’t remember them fighting. Even once. Or maybe they were just too good at not showing it in front of the kids.But, considering the kind of people mom n dad are, I think the former is more possible.

I think that fights can be quite healthy in any marriage if there is a mutual respect for each other. Else, I am not quite sure. What ever be the case, all soon to be married friends of mine… brace yourself for this change.Cause, this is one change that will definitely happen.

All the married friends of mine… Your thoughts on this are welcome.Also, when was your first fight after marriage?

For more of the CMB series, click here.

Author:

I used to think that I knew who I was... that I knew where I was heading.. that i knew what I wanted to do in life. But then I realised that there was very little that I knew about myself. So right now all I do is trust Jesus to show me the rest.

12 thoughts on “CMB Series : FiGHtS

  1. I can’t think of a specific instance when we did not fight. It was fights and arguments all the way from the time we met till we got married. And even then we had fights every now and then – all for stupid and silly reasons.
    But over time, we have grown mellow and now we hardly fight. So, I think fights are a phase every couple has to go through to become comfortable with each other.

  2. My hubby and I hardly ever had disagreements…until we had children. It’s not like we fight all the time, but when we do, it’s often about the kids’ behavior and appropriate discipline.

    I agree that fights aren’t inherently a bad thing – as long as both people fight fair 🙂

  3. Ah fights! They’re like a rite of passage! I think fights help you understand each other better…marriage is a process…of becoming one…and of loving each other unconditionally…since neither of us is perfect, this means there will be conflict…For us, we had this really bad one a few months after we got married…gave each other the silent treatment for 3 days!! It was awful! Now we’ve decided that even if we fight we’ll never carry it over…good lesson to learn…don’t go to bed angry! lol 😀

    1. That sounds like a good plan… Don’t go to bed agry.. ANd I’ve heard this from a sitcom recently. ‘ Wake up everyday like its a new start’. 🙂

  4. Oh akka! I read the 2nd paragraph more than thrice! “Hubby and I have been – differences disappeared”… Awwwwesomieee ka!!

    I really really want to say something like that. Do you think it’s too late for me to find someone, become best friends, marry and write a blog post with the exact same words?? =/

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