Marriage is every girl’s dream. It was mine too. I dreamt for years of an evening wedding with a small gathering of my closest friends. The backdrop would be pretty and simple. The food and decorations would be a bit western. My brother would be the best man. There would be no customs and definitely no gold involved in my wedding. And then I got married. And there wasn’t even a slight resemblance to my dream in my wedding process. Except for the guy.
I had a morning wedding with the biggest crowd I’ve ever seen come to a private ceremony. The backdrop was grand. My brother wasn’t the best man and my wedding ceremony involved a lot of customs that I did not even knew existed. And I wore an awful lot of gold jewelry. Nothing went as per my dream. However, I know without a doubt that it was one of the happiest days of my life.
And that’s where a marriage begins – Sacrificing for someone else’s happiness.My husband and I have known each other for a long time. And we have never fought. But the weeks leading up to the wedding was so mentality draining on us that we constantly found ourselves fighting with each other. For no reason. 2 Weeks before the wedding, I found myself sleepless and wondering if I made the right choice. Wondering if this is how life going to be. Full of fights and tears. Wondering how we were going to solve our differences. If we will ever solve our differences. This is what they call cold feet I guess and I had cold feet.
The reason behind our fights was this. We had plans of how our wedding was supposed to be like. And our parents had plans of how our wedding was supposed to be like. And it was not the same. While hubby found it easy to accommodate our parent’s plans, I found it hard. The only thought that was running in my head was, “This is my wedding. And I want it to be the way I have always dreamt about.” And hubby, being the sweet guy he is, was trying hard with our parents to have it our way. And he wasn’t having much success. As a result, we were fighting.
So, with just days to go for our wedding, we made a decision. That we were going to let our parents have this happiness. They can do all that they want and we would go simply along with it. The moment we decided this, there was peace in our hearts. My feet became warm again and I found myself looking forward to my wedding day.
And I can tell you today, when I look back to my wedding day, I remember all the events very clearly. Right from how they made us walk behind a marching band to the huge life size pictures they had put outside the church with the most ‘not so nice’ picture they could find of me. Embarrassing as it was, that day, we decided to laugh at what comes our way and we did. We still do.
When I was talking to my mom about all this, she told me this. Marriage is a one day affair. In trying to have it your way for a day, you are straining relationships that are going to last a lifetime. It is not a weak or a foolish decision to give up your personal dream to win the hearts of people you are soon going to call family. And as a soon to be wife and daughter in law, I inscribed these words deep in my heart. And 3 years from that day, I can tell you now, all that I gave up is well worth all that I gained on that day.