Too Quick to Look

Are you kind ?

Think about it before you proceed further.

Kindness –  That was the topic I was going to discuss with my class yesterday. And my class consisted of a bunch of 6-10 year olds. These are good kids. I know them to be. At the start of the class, I asked them to pull a chair from the many lying around and sit. Most of the bunch did. A few little ones, could not pull a chair. And so, I did for each of those kids. When every one was seated,we started talking and I finally asked, why did the older kids not help the younger ones with the chairs. After all, isn’t that kindness ? And their reply was ‘Oh! who? I did not see anyone struggling with the chairs’. (After thanking God for such a teachable moment), I replied , ‘We did not see cause we did not look’.

Cycling_Amsterdan_03We did not see because we did not look.

I do not see because I do not look.

When asked to sit, my eyes dash towards the best seat. I grab one, pull it to the best spot and sit. Proud of my accomplishment.

When I’m hungry, my eyes look for the nearest and quickest source of food. I do not look at the next table, where a hungry mother is silently watching her kids eat.

When I am in a hurry, my eyes look at the watch and the road. I do not want to look at a homeless man asking for money.

When I am tired, my eyes just want to close. I refuse to look at a depressed friend.Not yet anyway.

Till I am satisfied.

Once seated, I will look around. Maybe then, I will spot someone I can help.

Once my hunger has been fed, perhaps my eyes will wander to the next table.

Once My destination has arrived, as I wait, I will help someone with money.

Once I am rested, I will invest my time in a friend.

What if…what if the maybes ,the perhaps and the waits never happens?

We all want to help. If we had the power to heal the sick, we would. If we had enough money, we would help the poor. If we have the time, we would volunteer in a shelter. If we…. , then we would….. . If we …….. , then we would …….. .

But If we were to honestly ask ourselves, when was the last time, we had enough money, achieved all our goals and just had extra time ? When was the last time, we put others first before us?

Let me ask again. Are you kind?

Do you not see because you do not look?

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Marriage – How it all begins.


Marriage is every girl’s dream. It was mine too. I dreamt for years of an evening wedding with a small gathering of my closest friends. The backdrop would be pretty and simple. The food and decorations would be a bit western. My brother would be the best man. There would be no customs and definitely no gold involved in my wedding. And then I got married. And there wasn’t even a slight resemblance to my dream in my wedding process. Except for the guy.


I had a morning wedding with the biggest crowd I’ve ever seen come to a private ceremony. The backdrop was grand. My brother wasn’t the best man and my wedding ceremony involved a lot of customs that I did not even knew existed. And I wore an awful lot of gold jewelry. Nothing went as per my dream. However, I know without a doubt that it was one of the happiest days of my life.


And that’s where a marriage begins – Sacrificing for someone else’s happiness.My husband and I have known each other for a long time. And we have never fought. But the weeks leading up to the wedding was so mentality draining on us that we constantly found ourselves fighting with each other. For no reason. 2 Weeks before the wedding, I found myself sleepless and wondering if I made the right choice. Wondering if this is how life going to be. Full of fights and tears. Wondering how we were going to solve our differences. If we will ever solve our differences. This is what they call cold feet I guess and I had cold feet. 


The reason behind our fights was this. We had plans of how our wedding was supposed to be like. And our parents had plans of how our wedding was supposed to be like. And it was not the same. While hubby found it easy to accommodate our parent’s plans, I found it hard. The only thought that was running in my head was, “This is my wedding. And I want it to be the way I have always dreamt about.”  And hubby, being the sweet guy he is, was trying hard with our parents to have it our way. And he wasn’t having much success. As a result, we were fighting.


So, with just days to go for our wedding, we made a decision. That we were going to let our parents have this happiness. They can do all that they want and we would go simply along with it. The moment we decided this, there was peace in our hearts. My feet became warm again and I found myself looking forward to my wedding day.


And I can tell you today, when I look back to my wedding day, I remember all the events very clearly. Right from how they made us walk behind a marching band to the huge life size pictures they had put outside the church with the most ‘not so nice’ picture they could find of me. Embarrassing as it was, that day, we decided to laugh at what comes our way and we did. We still do.


i-doWhen I was talking to my mom about all this, she told me this. Marriage is a one day affair. In trying to have it your way for a day, you are straining relationships that are going to last a lifetime. It is not a weak or a foolish decision to give up your personal dream to win the hearts of people you are soon going to call family. And as a soon to be wife and daughter in law, I inscribed these words deep in my heart. And 3 years from that day, I can tell you now, all that I gave up is well worth all that I gained on that day.

I, Me and Myself.

When looking at group pictures that include me, my eye always goes to my picture first. I check my dress, I check to see if I look nice, I check to see if I look fat etc. Only when I am completely satisfied about my appearance in the picture, do my eyes scan the others in the picture. This is my regular habit and I am not worried about me being self-centered with this habit cause almost everyone I know , does the same.

But what I did not know, was that, this habit does not limit itself to just pictures.Let me explain what happened. A blog friend of mine is doing a series of interviews with her blog buddies and featuring them on her blog. And mine was one. You can catch my interview here. At the end of the interview, were few kind lines that my friend had put in about me. I was excited when I read that. I was touched that I had been an inspiration to her, etc etc. I even wanted to write in telling her how much I appreciated her words 🙂 . But I did not yet.

Today, another interview was posted and to my shock, the same lines were there for the other person also.I quickly browsed through the other interviews(that I have already read before) and found the same lines for everyone..(Busted E.C 🙂 🙂 ). I was quite embarrassed at myself and really glad that I hadn’t mailed that thanking mail to her.(Maybe, procrastination isn’t all that bad 🙂 ). Anyway, the more I thought about it, the more I realized, how much attention I pay to the things that concern me.

I, Me and Myself… Is this everybody’s nightmare?

Planning a trip?? Take note…

I am just back from a trip that we have been planing for close to 3 months and we learnt a lot about planning trips in this trip.Hence this post.

Things to consider.

  1. If you are planning a trip to a well known tourist spot on a long weekend, stop right there.DON”T plan further.We were in Toronto on Canada day weekend and so was rest of the world.Our plan was to visit at least close to 8 places on 3 days but we ended up visiting just 3 places. More than the time we spent enjoying the sights we spent time waiting in line to get to places. Our journey to the Niagara was supposedly an hour and 15 minutes ride. But it took us 4 hours just to get there and 3 hrs to get back.Such was the crowd.Entry to the CN tower took us 2 hours of wait in the line.Not fun I say.
  2. If you are planning on driving around yourself in a new place, GPS is a life saver.A print out of Google maps are not quite enough. Once highways are jammed, you will be diverted into some exits and you are lost.Then comes GPS to the rescue. We were so glad that we rented out one.
  3. You might want to consider staying at a not so star hotel. Atleast, they provide you with a free parking space. Star hotels charge you for everything.Except breathing.
  4. If you badly want a get away on a long weekend, then try a resort or something like that. Dot not plan popular sight seeing places.There are just people everywhere.
Just to give you an idea of the crowd that I am taking about, let me share a few pics with you…

On the way to Niagara

Crowded Niagara

Why I like ‘liking’

There are times when I feel very vocal and I want to make comments about things I read.But then there are times when I wish to be quite.And those are the times that made me fall in love with ‘liking’.

Reasons why I click on the ‘like’ button.

  1. I really like what I read.
  2. I think what is written is funny.
  3. I want to acknowledge that I read something.
  4. I can’t think of something witty to reply to someone and hence I simply ‘like’ what they said.

Out of the top few reasons, reason 1 is why I mostly ‘like’ articles.But I cannot deny the fact that reason 4 closely competes with that.I have become so accustomed to ‘liking’ things I read, that my mind automatically scans a page or website to find the familiar ‘like’ button.At times even before I read the article.Such is my addiction.

When I read really good articles, I have wished that the ‘like’ button would let me ‘like’ the article as many times I want.Cause just one like does not seem to do justice.Maybe it will come up in future.And we will be able to mention how many likes we wanna give. Oh wait, thats the star concept.(you can find it at the end of this blog).

Did you know that the ‘like’ button on Facebook was previously named ‘Awesome’? . For a more detailed history of the like button, check out here. Anyway, I’m not sure if I would have liked the ‘Awesome’ button as much as the ‘like’ button had it stayed. Wow, it is kinda scary to know that Facebook team knows what I may like. 😮 .

Now, I hope you don’t start thinking what could be the reason when I ‘like’ something you write.It could be reason 1 or it could be reason 5.(Don’t look up.I din’t mention it cause it is a secret reason).

So, why do you ‘like’ things?

BedBUGS!!!

BedBugs are no fun.I mean it. Where we live, they are treated with utmost priority.And that’s what happened at our place yesterday.

One of the flats above our floor had a complain of bedbugs in their apartment, as a result of which, 18 houses(with no bedbugs) had to undergo the ‘bedbug’ treatment yesterday.So, we had to pack our entire house, put all stuff into plastic bags, seal them and leave the house almost empty for the ‘terminators’ to treat the house.

The only fun part in this entire operation is the fact that we had to leave the house as well. So, the ‘Bored Housewives Club’ sprung into action(Cause two of the affected houses are active members of this group).We hit the malls.Shopped around a whole day.Oh!There’s another fun part to this treatment. The kitchen was closed for 24 hrs. 🙂 :)SO, we ended up eating out.The whole day.

Packing everything was easy. Unpacking is not.Since we came home late last night feeling dead tired, we did not try unpacking anything then.So this morning when hubby had to get ready to work, it was awful.We had to rummage though plastic bags to figure out where we packed our iron.As a result, I am lying amidst huge plastic bags and a couch filled with clothes.Sigh. Unpacking times ahead.

My top three reason why I dislike Bedbugs :

  1. You have to pack everything in your house for the treatment.
  2. You have to unpack everything you packed after the treatment.
  3. You have to pray earnestly not just for your house but for the 18 houses surrounding your house for BedBug protection.(Do I sound a little selfish here? 😦 )

Changes marriage brings Series: Chapter 1 : Impression

So you’ve heard it over and over again.That marriage changes you. And I totally vouch for that.What they don’t tell you is how soon or how late it takes to change you.

The thing I’ve seen is, that some changes are apparent as soon as you get married. I mean, you start changing right from day 1. One such change that I want to mention here is impression.Let me take you through this with an example.

Jane Doe*, one of my close friend , was saying the other day that during her dating period,she used to think that her then boyfriend/now hubby John Doe* was a very neat person.Until the day she married him. Boy, was she in for a surprise when she found out that John Doe was neat only in maintaining his desk and cupboard.

Another friend of mine, Janet Doe* claims that earlier she used to think that her hubby Johnson Doe* liked to laze around on holidays.What she discovered after marriage was that her hubby did not just like but absolutely loved to laze around and that it was hard to get him to visit places.

You must have heard the saying, ‘First impression is a lasting impression’.Well, that kind of goes well with your boss but not with your spouse.Trust me when I say, what ever impression that you had of your boyfriend/girlfriend before marriage will be the first change that happens in your married life.

Change is good. So if you are not yet married, brace yourself for this change. If you are married, I’m sure you will agree with me.

Stay tuned for more of these ‘Changes marriage brings’ series. 🙂 (Yes, I am quite jobless )

* Names changed to protect the identity of the couples and their ‘happily ever after’.