Mediocre !!

As per Google’s definition, this is what mediocre means.

mediocre

And why does it feel like such a bad thing?

When I was little, I believed I was one of the best singers in the world. Why, you ask? My world consisted of my mom, dad and bro. And I could sing better than them. (Please, don’t break my bubble here.) When my mom and dad ‘ooohhhh’ed and ‘awwwww’ed at my signing, it fed my belief that I was a good singer. And then came college. I tried out for my college choir and did not make it. Yikes! And then Youtube entered my life. I was no longer what I called a good singer. Reality set in. Years later, I’ve made my peace with the truth. I can sing but I was ‘unexceptional’.

If the definition of mediocre did not include all the words with ‘un’s and ‘in’s and had been just this,

mediocre 2

is there a chance this word may not seem so bad after all?

I love writing. My dream would be to have a blog that the at least half the world would read. I would be getting paid for what I write. My writing would be thought provoking and funny at the same time. I would write books that become best sellers. While the dream still lives, there is also the reality. I love writing. I have a blog that, on a best day 20 people read. I write like maybe 10 times a year and I make absolutely no money from it. I do not have what it takes to write a book. (Unless of course, I print all my previous blog posts and make a book our of those papers…Apart from my mom, I cannot think of anyone else who might want to buy that book.) I am, what Google might call , ‘Uninspired’.

Someone I follow on twitter, tweeted this morning that ‘Life is too short to be mediocre’. While I don’t know that person personally or understand the context in which the tweet was made, I will fight against the thought this tweet seems to convey. That being mediocre is not a good thing.

So what, if I am one of the million IT professionals who never make it big? So what, if I never become a Taylor Swift or a Kari Jobe? So what, If I am just a fish in the ocean that you do not see or know the name of. So what, If I might be someone you never even knew existed. So what, if I am one in a crowd? So what, if I am a face that you see and forget? So what, if I am a name that you don’t write down in your contacts list?

So what, If I am ordinary or average in this world? Unremarkable in this world? Unexciting in this world. ? I am at my best when no one is watching. I am free to be me, when no one knows me.

But I rest in this one fact, that someone sees me. That someone knows me. Loves me for all my averageness. Though I am ‘ordinary’, He knows my name. And He knows your name too!

If there’s one thing you might want to take away from all this blabbering, let it be this. It’s ok that you are not famous. It’s ok that you are not the best in your field. It’s ok that you keep failing. It’s ok that you still haven’t found the one. It is not the end of your story. You are loved by the One who created you. You matter to God. Not because of who you are in this world. Not because of what you do or did. Not because of what you have or don’t have. God loves you and He always will. He know your name.

Love is ….

After  a week of fighting with hubby and reflecting on everything that he wasn’t doing for me, I was lead to read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. For the first time, these verses came alive to me and I understood what it was all about.And as I read these verses, I began to understand, what an epic failure I was when I judged myself based on these verses.

Love is patient – FAIL

Love is kind – I certainly have not been kind to hubby lately.

It does not envy – Please God, don’t let me fail this one.

It is not proud – ummm. Guilty

It does not dishonor others – Guilty. At this point, I am begining to sense a pattern here. 

It is not self seeking – Groan! Re-reading my first line of this post.

It is not easily angered – Red Flag! Red Flag!

It keeps no record of wrongs – (Are you kidding me? ) I have to re-think my entire life. Huge Guilty!

Love does not delight in evil – Let me pass this one too God, please?

Rejoices in the truth – Hopefully, this is a pass.

Always protects – A pass. Maybe?

Always trusts – My biggest area of failure.

Always hopes – My second biggest area of failure.

Always persevere –  I give up too easily. Sometimes even before I start trying. FAIL!

Sigh! I need to work on a whole lot of things in my life.  I need to learn what LOVE really means. It is certainly not what I have been practicing lately. And I sure am glad that God is not giving up on me.He is still working on me to make me who I ought to be.

Have you checked your life with 1 Cor 13:4-6 lately? I sure hope you fare better than I did. If not, relax. God still loves you. There is hope yet, for all of us.